Imagining being asked to spend twelve or so years of your life in a society which consisted only of members of own sex. How would you react? Unless there was something definitely wrong with you, you wouldn’t be too happy about it, to say the least. It is all the more surprising therefore that so many parents in the world choose to impose such abnormal conditions on their children – conditions which they themselves wouldn’t put up with for one minute!
Any discussion of this topic is bound to question the aims of education. Stuffing children’s heads full of knowledge is far from being foremost among them. One of the chief aims of educations is to equip future citizens with all they require to take their place in adult society. Now adult society is made up of men and women, so how can a segregated school possibly offer the right sort of preparation for it? Anyone entering adult society after years of segregation can only be in for a shock.
A co-educational school offers children nothing less than a true version of society in miniature. Boys and girls are given the opportunity to get to know each other, to learn to live together from their earliest years. They are put in a position where they can compare themselves with each other in terms of academic ability, athletic achievement and many of the extra-curricular activities which are part of school life. What a practical advantage it is ( to give just a small example ) to be able to put on a school play in which the male parts will be taken by boys and the female parts by girls! What nonsense co-education makes of the argument that boys are cleverer than girl or vice-versa. When segregated, boys and girls are made to feel that they are a race apart. Rivalry between the sexes is fostered. In a coeducational school, everything falls into its proper place.
But perhaps the greatest contribution of co-education is the healthy attitude to life it encourages. Boys don’t grow up believing that women are mysterious creatures – airy goddesses, more like book-illustrations to a fairy-tale, than human beings. Girls don’t grow up imagining that men are romantic heroes. Years of living together at school dispel illusions of this kind. There are no goddesses with freckles, pigtails, piercing voices and inky fingers. There are no romantic heroes with knobbly knees, dirty fingernails and unkempt hair. The awkward stage of adolescence brings into sharp focus some of the physical and emotional problems involved in growing up. These can better be overcome in a co-educational environment. Segregated schools sometimes provide the right conditions for sexual deviation. This is hardly possible under a co-educational system. When the time comes for the pupils to leave school, they are fully prepared to enter society as well-adjusted adults. They have already had years of experience in coping with many of the problems that face men and women.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Focus on the image of success
A lesson I learned when I was in junior high ...
I had made a lot of good shots and got into the final in my junior high school table tennis tournament years ago. My parents and many friends came to watch the final. As I was eager to please them, my shots either hit the net or flew out of the table, nothing worked, the more I missed, the tenser I got. My coach called time out and said: "Don't think about me and your parents and anything else, just think about the good shots you made in the previous games." I started to make a few good shots but too late and I lost. After the game, my coach patted my shoulder, saying a few comforting words then pointing out: "You have been focusing on failure all afternoon. I want you to look at the image of success."
Those simple words turned out to be one of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten. This trick has been working remarkable well for me, from a few shots to my study, to my work and other aspects of my life.
Many studies have shown that tension or nervousness, which nine out of ten is based on the memory of past failures, can be reduced and eliminated by the memory of success.
Just curious, is the job interview one of the causes of your nervousness? If yes, I'd like to say a bit more in my next posting.
I had made a lot of good shots and got into the final in my junior high school table tennis tournament years ago. My parents and many friends came to watch the final. As I was eager to please them, my shots either hit the net or flew out of the table, nothing worked, the more I missed, the tenser I got. My coach called time out and said: "Don't think about me and your parents and anything else, just think about the good shots you made in the previous games." I started to make a few good shots but too late and I lost. After the game, my coach patted my shoulder, saying a few comforting words then pointing out: "You have been focusing on failure all afternoon. I want you to look at the image of success."
Those simple words turned out to be one of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten. This trick has been working remarkable well for me, from a few shots to my study, to my work and other aspects of my life.
Many studies have shown that tension or nervousness, which nine out of ten is based on the memory of past failures, can be reduced and eliminated by the memory of success.
Just curious, is the job interview one of the causes of your nervousness? If yes, I'd like to say a bit more in my next posting.
One Girls Hope
Face pale like a sick girl in jail, while she sleeps with sweet dreams that sail, across deep oceans, she then opens her eyes but fails to see, only to trail her thin fingers over the brail at her attempt to read, a note of another, the plead from her mother, asking fo forgiveness, a witness in her eyes, even though she can't see her heart's still alive, waiting for the day she feels the need to die, because everyday of her life she strives, relying soley on truth, she doesn't lie, only breathes hope in this fight, 'everything's alright' she says over the phone, 'mom told me that I might be left alone, ' she hangs up the phone to leave her dad in groans, she's never prone to tears streaming down her face, she feels nothing, not even the slightest of cold disgrace, towards the people who never cared, or whispered lies past her ears, her fate is one she does not fear, with her death so near, she loses her sense to hear, slowly losing everything she held so dear, somehow in the end her hope will surly reappear...
Disarming intimidation and humiliation is the way to go ...
I am afraid that I have given more than you needed. No hard feeling, huh, you could be just laughing at what I've said, for they may be garbage and rubbish and nonsense. That's ok for me, but I can't help dropping a few more lines here.
There are three ways to react and deal with intimidation and humiliation
1. Keep silence and swallow those intimidating words. You will be suffering for days, and leading to many other negative effects on you such as bad moods, nervousness, lowering your self-esteem.
2. Fight back and get into an argument. If you do that, most likely your negative emotion will get stirred up and you will be overreacted. You will fall into the dirty trap set by others.
3. Disarming the intimidation with your humor and wit, laughing at them, making them look like the clowns, is the way to go.
What is the effective way to learn how to disarm others' intimidation? I don't know. I have been picking up a few things here and there, and still looking for the new tricks.
The bottom line is not to lose your wits and humors easily as those intimidating things are mocking you and bullying you.
a reply from iamlost.
There are three ways to react and deal with intimidation and humiliation
1. Keep silence and swallow those intimidating words. You will be suffering for days, and leading to many other negative effects on you such as bad moods, nervousness, lowering your self-esteem.
2. Fight back and get into an argument. If you do that, most likely your negative emotion will get stirred up and you will be overreacted. You will fall into the dirty trap set by others.
3. Disarming the intimidation with your humor and wit, laughing at them, making them look like the clowns, is the way to go.
What is the effective way to learn how to disarm others' intimidation? I don't know. I have been picking up a few things here and there, and still looking for the new tricks.
The bottom line is not to lose your wits and humors easily as those intimidating things are mocking you and bullying you.
a reply from iamlost.
make yourself comfortable
As hundreds and thousands of books about interviews are available in the bookstores and online, and your question is too general, I am not sure what is the best way to give you a tip or two. I would try, anyway.
First of all, you must make yourself comfortable and relaxed so that you will make others comfortable as well. It is very crucial to know that you are the message, I meant, not only your spoken language is the message, but also your body language, your facial expression, your eye contact, etc. In a word, you must show yourself that you are a person with confidence, can-do-attitudes ...
The next one would be a new way to look at the interview. Interview is nothing but a negotiation process, in which you and your prospective employer have an equal power. The purpose of the negotiation is to reach a win-win deal that are satisfied by both parties. For example, one your side, you would land an interesting, challenging job with higher salary and better career prospect; one their side, they would bring someone on board, who not only can get job done, also is willing to go the extra mile, do the extra work, and com up with the fresh, out-of-box ideas, who can add the greater value to the company.
During the interview, and to be precise, as you are sitting at the bargaining table and facing the interviewers, you must not be afraid of asking questions, good questions about the company, job responsibility, career advancement, etc. Asking questions are as important as answering ones, even more critical, I believe.
Besides, as you are developing the interview skills in particular and the communication skills in general in the future, learning how to ask good questions must be taken into account. In the eyes of many westerners, most of the Chinese candidates are too quiet, too timid, too reserved ...
Just dropping a few lines and hope it helps.
Here is one of the replies
First of all, you must make yourself comfortable and relaxed so that you will make others comfortable as well. It is very crucial to know that you are the message, I meant, not only your spoken language is the message, but also your body language, your facial expression, your eye contact, etc. In a word, you must show yourself that you are a person with confidence, can-do-attitudes ...
The next one would be a new way to look at the interview. Interview is nothing but a negotiation process, in which you and your prospective employer have an equal power. The purpose of the negotiation is to reach a win-win deal that are satisfied by both parties. For example, one your side, you would land an interesting, challenging job with higher salary and better career prospect; one their side, they would bring someone on board, who not only can get job done, also is willing to go the extra mile, do the extra work, and com up with the fresh, out-of-box ideas, who can add the greater value to the company.
During the interview, and to be precise, as you are sitting at the bargaining table and facing the interviewers, you must not be afraid of asking questions, good questions about the company, job responsibility, career advancement, etc. Asking questions are as important as answering ones, even more critical, I believe.
Besides, as you are developing the interview skills in particular and the communication skills in general in the future, learning how to ask good questions must be taken into account. In the eyes of many westerners, most of the Chinese candidates are too quiet, too timid, too reserved ...
Just dropping a few lines and hope it helps.
Here is one of the replies
People are afraid
People are afraid
of the year 2012 that are coming
and expect something to happen
that is going to tear the world apart,
but maybe man himself
is his greatest enemy.
At times I wonder about guns
killing in Afghanistan and Iraq
and bombs dropping from bombers
there on people
while a super power
like before
stand free from her deeds
and of nuclear bombs
exploding on Hiroshima and Nagasaki
not a lot is said about
and people look only
at the inhumanities
of Hitler and Stalin
and almost nothing
is said about Harry S. Truman.
of the year 2012 that are coming
and expect something to happen
that is going to tear the world apart,
but maybe man himself
is his greatest enemy.
At times I wonder about guns
killing in Afghanistan and Iraq
and bombs dropping from bombers
there on people
while a super power
like before
stand free from her deeds
and of nuclear bombs
exploding on Hiroshima and Nagasaki
not a lot is said about
and people look only
at the inhumanities
of Hitler and Stalin
and almost nothing
is said about Harry S. Truman.
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